Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Nudists Go Home

A couple of weeks back I took a trip to the beach when we had some visitors from Iceland. The plan was to go to Sandy Hook, as it is a predominantly familial spot and not subject to the horrible trash that exists at some other shore locations. What ensued was pretty awkward.

After a lot of driving and excruciating traffic we arrived at Sandy Hook. And after even more driving we got to the north shore where Gunnison Beach is located. We hauled our stuff from the parking lot and I found a sign that read: "From this point on you may encounter nude beach goers." I turned to my Father and asked, "What the hell is this?" He answered, "They're just saying that to be safe. The nudists are probably at some small section. We won't see anyone."

We walk onto the beach and set up camp, and what's the first thing that I see in the not-so-far distance? Various ass cracks. There were nudists abound on the other side. The only boundary between the nudist and clothed sections was the lifeguard chair and maybe 20 yards of space. I was immediately annoyed. The worst part was that we brought visitors there. We apologized for our ignorance. No one wants to see this nonsense. Nudists are weirdos, simply put. Most of them are middle aged people who think, "We're just being natural, bro." No. I naturally don't want to see your stuff on the beach, be it man or woman. Many nudists may be very nice or appear to be quite normal people. But picture this. Imagine if you found out that Jim, the nice everyday guy from the finance department at work was a nudist. Wouldn't that change your perception of him? Then you would be keen to his oddball tendencies and would avoid going to the beach with him even more than you previously did.

I am no Puritan, however. I will deal with public showers if I have to. I even used to be a wrestler, where occasional naked weigh-ins were customary if you were struggling just to make a specific weight class for a competition. But there is a time and place for everything. And if you want to be straight up nude, then gather up your weirdo friends, and just go home. Or go to some remote woods, preferably in Montana or something.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Get Tattooed at Fun City

When it is time to get a new tattoo, it is like an itch that will not go away. That is, until you get said tattoo. This time came for me recently so I took myself to Fun City Tattoos on Saint Mark's Place in New York City. Saint Mark's Place is home to a number of tattoo shops but Fun City is the only one worth even stepping inside. "Fun City" actually sounds like it is a terrible outfit. It sounds barely legal and like it is operated by fat ex-cons and hookers. But it is quite the opposite, I promise. They are not a cheap shop but they are certainly fairly priced. Plus, how much is too much when you are receiving excellent work? I could easily have gone down to some dog shit tattoo shop in Tom's River and gotten sub par work for less money. I did not do that because when it comes to tattooing, it is infinitely important to pay a little extra and ensure quality.

I am a big fan of Sailor Jerry's flash and this time I chose his old school four leaf clover and wishbone piece. It is a vintage design but no one can duplicate his style. The clover and wishbone intersect with bold lines and colors that really pop. This is my third Sailor Jerry tattoo. I chose this because they are images that represent good luck and I could use a bit of that in my life right now. I saw this particular flash at the Sailor Jerry event at the Tribecca Film Center and knew it was for me. It is a simple piece but sometimes the simplest things are the most poignant. Brad Stevens at Fun City executed the work and did a damn fine job. He his a man of few words but he can tattoo like a bloodhound. So far at the shop I have been tattooed by him and Steve Von Riepen. I can personally recommend those two gents but really anyone at Fun City and its sister shop, Dare Devil, would be worthy of your business. They are all great. It is at places like this where people truly understand tattooing as an art form. So head down to Fun City and say hi to Brad, the comical Von Riepen, and the hot punk rock receptionist girl.

I mentioned the theme of good luck and there was one funny side note from my experience that relates to this topic. After I got tattooed I was hungry as hell so I went to the new Qdoba on 6th avenue near the PATH. Apparently at this Qdoba they opened some kind of lounge upstairs and it was closed for a private event. Who holds private parties at Qdoba anyway?...Who am I kidding? If I was invited I would definitely have gone. Anyway, as I sat there eating my lonely-ass quesadilla a little kid comes downstairs. He seeks my attention and says something. I lower my headphones and say, "Huh?". He asks, "How is your job?". I shoot him a puzzled look, laugh, and reply, "Umm its alright". He then fires back upstairs. Now I can view this weird encounter one of two ways. Either it was a good sign of things to come, OR it was God having a bit of a laugh at my expense. I guess its funnier to think of it the second way.

http://funcitytattoo.com/